Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor
By the time my brief escape from the April cruelty of Vermont has ended, three or more contenders will probably have declared their intention to run for the Republican Presidential nomination. So much, so soon.
The 2016 election season has gotten off to an early and energetic start. So far this year, three old standbys tantalized us with the possibility of their throwing their egos into the ring: Rick Perry, Sarah Palin and Donald Trump! There were many of us who were slobbering with excitement over the possibility. Unfortunately the only Republican support seemed to be one gun-toting Flat-Earther with a bad haircut.
Then on the heels of that, Etch-a-Mitt Romney’s suggestion that he might run was greeted with a thunderous “Huh?” A couple more blasts of baggage from the past, Mike Huckleberry and the Rickster Santorum have hinted they might stage reruns of their previous dramatic endeavors.
But it doesn’t matter. There are plenty of newbies. In order of dismissability they include:
Ben Carson. You may be forgiven if you’ve never heard of him. Although he’s never run for anything, he’s the first surgeon to successfully separate twins joined at the head, which seems experience enough to become the Republican nominee. But he won’t. He’s this season’s Herman Cain, a demonstration that the Republicans are willing to open the big tent to one black person who isn’t a candidate’s chauffeur — as long as he has no chance of winning.
Chris Christy finds himself down in the bottom tier of wannabes even though he once loomed large as a candidate Now after jumping off that New Jersey bridge, he just looms large.
Ted Cruz. Perhaps the first to declare will be the first to go away. He’s a Tea Party favorite, he doesn’t play well with others, and he’s a Texan. Cruz dismissed.
Scott Walker plans his stints as Wisconsin governor and US President to be nothing but hiccups on his transition march from Milwaukee County Executive to God.
Rand Paul. Isn’t he that crazy old coot from Texas that wants to disband everything? No, that’s his father.
Marco Rubio. The Senator from Florida is an anti-Hispanic Hispanic. He won’t be able to win his home state’s primary, thanks to you-know who.
You-know-who is, of course, Br’er Jeb. Is he Hispanic or isn’t he? Is he conservative or isn’t he? Is he really W’s brother? Smart money, possibly all the money, is on the latest Bush.
Among the Democrats, there is only Hilary Clinton, she who no one dares take on. The unspoken promise of her candidacy is a return, after eight W and eight Obama years to the Golden Age of the Clinton presidency — Bill and all.
It’s bound to be Jeb against Hilary. The media wants a Clinton-Bush shootout, and odds are they’ll get it.