Tis Pity He's a Writer

Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor

What It Is Is Football

I haven’t followed college football that much lately. The last actual game I attended was back in Utah-Football2005. It was in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, with the University of Alabama (or ‘Bama as they call it so the football players can spell the name) hosting Utah State, We were there for friends Joel and Barbara’s wedding. The game was part of the celebration. It was also Homecoming weekend and Utah State was the sacrificial Homecoming lamb, a team which ‘Bama could humiliate to keep alumni happy and contributing (seems all schools do this).

In the past, I had always enjoyed seeing Utah State being humiliated, when Utah (University of) was doing the humiliating. But it was my home state, and I felt bound to cheer for the losers – albeit softly, not wanting to upset my hosts and 80,000 well lubricated and worked up ‘Bama fans.

A few years later in 2009, Alabama would face off with Utah (or ‘Ta as they would probably call it). Utah was unbeaten and ranked seventh in the country. Alabama was fourth with one loss. (Where’s the justice, you say?) They were selected to play in the Sugar Bowl under the BCS (Beyond Comprehension System) mystery formula. The Alabama coach complained loudly that his team shouldn’t have to face a nonBCS (Bona fide Crazy Selection) school. Well, the game was played – in Tuscaloosa – and Utah thumped Alabama. It was a fine day.

Although this BCS (Bizarre Competition Scenario) thing is confusing, football itself is pretty straightforward and easy to understand. Two teams each try to move a pointy ball from one end of a field to the other, bumping into as many players as they can.

However, today schools are getting pretty fickle about who they want to bump into, changing their conference affiliations like a Facebook junkie changes friends. Talk about muddying the waters. The Big Ten will soon have 14 teams instead of 12, they haven’t had 10 since 1990. On the other hand, the Big 12 has ten teams. Notre Dame, which was in South Bend, Indiana, last time I checked, is joining the Atlantic Coast Conference.   The Big East is taking in Houston, Boise State and San Diego – yes, that San Diego, the one out on the west coast. And out there the Pac (as in Pacific)12 has added Utah and Colorado from up in the Rocky Mountains (possibly insurance against rising ocean levels).

Alabama, however, has been in the Southeastern Conference since it was formed in 1932. And ‘Bama will be playing in the championship game. ‘Ta, alas, will be staying home this year.

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11 comments on “What It Is Is Football

  1. vyvacious
    December 3, 2012

    I never watched sports before I came to UCLA and then I became a diehard Bruins fan. I loved the energy at the home games and the student section was intensely rousing, my kinda shit. I still remember in the beginning when I would be yelling at my friends next to me, “Where’s the ball, where’s the ball?!” because I was so emotionally into the game but I had no idea what the hell was going on 😛 Luckily, that soon changed and now I enjoy watching my Bruins play even from the comfort of my own home. I will only watch the Bruins play though, other teams are of no interest to me.

    Would UCLA be called ‘La’ then?

    Like

    • Richard Daybell
      December 3, 2012

      At Utah we called them #*#!!# UCLA, but at ‘Bama ‘La or ‘Uc would work.

      Like

      • vyvacious
        December 4, 2012

        😀 That’s ok. I have no real heartfelt opposed emotions against sports teams other than any of those dirty trojans. We say lots of profanity before that school’s name too 😛

        Like

      • Joel
        December 18, 2012

        Actually in Bama, “LA” means “Lower Alabama”. Don’t think “UC” means anything.

        Like

        • Richard Daybell
          December 18, 2012

          Lower Alabama sounds like a place Upper Alabamians wouldn’t be caught dead in.

          Like

  2. Craig Dunford
    December 3, 2012

    Thanks Richard, I now know the origin of “TaTas”….. Or should I thank the cheerleaders?

    Like

    • Richard Daybell
      December 3, 2012

      Keep away from the cheerleaders. I was going to post a picture of the U cheerleaders in an amazing pyramid, short skirts, long legs, tatas, but I knew it would set you off, so I didn’t. Sleep tight knowing you’ve deprived so many others of a great cheerleading moment.

      Like

  3. Kenton Lewis
    December 4, 2012

    I’m for any team that plays Notre Dame. I’ve been looking for a name for BCS and you have come up with the only one that fits. Good writing as always.

    Like

  4. melanielynngriffin
    December 17, 2012

    If you’ve got “nothing, no action, and dullsville” going on in your apartment, I surely hope you are writing some great fiction. Missing your stories, plus football bores me. Entertain me, please.

    Like

  5. elroyjones
    December 20, 2012

    How did I miss this? Funny post, entertained as always.

    Like

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This entry was posted on December 3, 2012 by in Life Is (Fill in Blank) and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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