Tis Pity He's a Writer

Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor

Or Was Moses Happy To See the Red Sea?

According to the National Rifle Association, guns don’t kill people, people kill people.

On the other hand, if you were to make a fist with your index finger pointing at your intended victim, and shout Bang, bang, you’re dead, chances are the only injury inflicted would be to

Charlton Heston was a more dramatic NRA spokeman than Wayne LaPierre. After all, he parted the Red Sea. Note the weapon concealed in his robe.

your pride as you endured the derisive laughter all around you.

On yet another hand, take the case of William Lawlis Pace. Nine-year-old Billy was accidently shot in the head by his older brother (although some claim to have heard him shout “No I’m the Lone Ranger and you’re Tonto” just before the shooting). Pace died last week. In his sleep. At a California nursing home – 94 and a half years after the incident.  The bullet was still in his head.

Doctors in Texas where the shooting took place left the .22 caliber bullet in his head because – well, because I guess that’s what they do in Texas.

In 2006, Pace was crowned the Guinness world record holder in the category of “unwanted cranial ammunition acquisition.” A proud moment indeed, and Wayne LaPierre did not attend the ceremony.

Thank God, the Second Amendment still protects a citizen’s right to walk around for 94 years with a bullet in his head.

7 comments on “Or Was Moses Happy To See the Red Sea?

  1. elroyjones
    April 29, 2012

    A bit of irony from the NYT obit, “The injury damaged an eye and facial nerves but did not prevent Mr. Pace from working as a cemetery custodian.”


    • Richard Daybell
      April 30, 2012

      Almost too much. Just the day before a department store Santa had said: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”


  2. craigdunford
    April 30, 2012

    I’m breakin inta urr house Mr. Finger-pointr. Why don’t you just leave all ur shit out front.


  3. Michael Sadowski
    May 3, 2012

    Technically speaking, guns don’t kill people. BULLETS fired from guns by people kill people. So let ’em have all the guns they want; just don’t give them any bullets.


    • Michael Sadowski
      May 3, 2012

      Oh wait…that was YOUR idea, wasn’t it? How about this, then? Guns don’t kill people…people…who..need…people are the deadliest people in…the..world. So: no people; lots of guns…and no gun deaths. GET RID OF THE PEOPLE!


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