Tis Pity He's a Writer

Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor

The Great Big Rick Santorum Chime In

Most Republicans think Mitt Romney is going to get the chance to face off against the liberal black Muslim Kenyan now occupying the White House.  Yet they continue to vote for Rick Santorum.  What reasons would anyone have to vote for the Rickster?  Well, I came up with a good hundred reasons, but I’ll only throw one out there and ask you to chime in and build the list.  (A transparent attempt to get other people to write my post, you say?).   I offer reason #1.  We’re shooting for sixteen reasons (so I can tag an old bubble gum song and lure unsuspecting seniors — my people — who don’t even know who he is).   Here goes:

1.  When you Google “blood-sucking vampire squid” his name does not come up.  (Someone else takes the prize.  I use the word someone in the corporations-are-people-too sense.)

Your turn:

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6 comments on “The Great Big Rick Santorum Chime In

  1. hebe in dc
    March 15, 2012

    2. He’s not Mittens.

    Like

  2. Michael Sadowski
    March 16, 2012

    Why vote for Rich, you ask?
    #3) He has better teeth than Ron Paul or Newt Gingrich.
    #4) He’ll outlaw Justin Bieber’s “Devil Music.”
    #5) How much fun would it be to have a “President Ricky?”
    #6) He’ll put the American dollar back on the Baseball Card standard. (?)
    #7) His Inaugural Ball at Chuck E. Cheese !
    #8) He’s the only candidate with a Vision For America that’s built out of Lego blocks.
    #9) We’ve never had a ventriloquist’s dummy in the Oval Office before.
    #10) He’s very conscientious about where he leaves his semen.
    #11) He may be “Rich” but he’s no “Dick.”
    #12) Only Presidential candidate who knows how to make balloon animals.
    #13) Rich Santorum Action-Figure doll would be more fun than Mitt Romney Action-Figure Doll.
    #14) He’s promised a post to Michelle Bachmann…in the Kitchen Cabinet!( He likes that joke, too.)
    #16) If he’s elected, he’ll make John Stewart a very happy man.

    Oh, and one more: he promised me if I vote for him, he’ll let me play with the Commander-In-Chief’s “Football” out on the White House lawn!

    Like

    • Richard Daybell
      March 16, 2012

      Nice job. I think I’m becoming your straight man.

      Like

      • Michael Sadowski
        March 18, 2012

        We’d still need a third to handle the necessary “rim shots” at the punchlines.

        Like

  3. Blithering Idiot
    March 18, 2012

    Why vote for Rick Santorum?

    Just in case God is watching.

    Like

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