Tis Pity He's a Writer

Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor

Crazy Aunts in New Hampshire’s Attic Redux

Is it something in the water over there?  Our neighbors to the east are at it again.

Where to start.  Guns, perhaps, since they are one of the basic necessities of life on earth, along with air and water.  If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that one of the New Hampshire Legislature’s top priorities is dreaming up new places to carry concealed weapons.  Last year it was the legislative chamber itself (but no brandishing allowed).  Today it’s college campuses.  The good state representatives are studying a bill to allow higher education heaters. It’s called the Shoot a Liberal Professor Act.

A second gun bill would allow gun owners to transport loaded shotguns and rifles.  This one’s called the I Didn’t Know the Gun Was Loaded and I’m So Sorry My Friend Act.  At least this one might have the unintended consequence of strengthening the New Hampshire gene pool.

The third part of the Crazy Aunts Carrying Saturday Night Specials Trilogy would eliminate the need for law-abiding New Hampshire citizens to have licenses for guns. Everyone except gays, of course.

Which brings us to the second New Hampshire legislative obsession.  While gun toters should have completely unfettered rights to anything that goes bang, New Hampshire gays should be fettered to the max.  Legislators are hell-bent on repealing New Hampshire’s gay marriage law, which was enacted three years ago.  Never mind that the majority of New Hampshire residents don’t want it repealed.

The bill’s sponsor seems to have found in his copy of the U.S. Constitution a statement that men and women were created for each other and all other arrangements are unnatural because they don’t sustain the human species.

(I think it’s it that same section where the Founding Fathers weighed in on dirty dancing.)

The law would prohibit future same-sex marriages but would somehow grandfather in the 1,800 or so marriages that have already been performed.  A noble gesture, indeed.  On the other hand, it would allow anyone to discriminate against gay couples in any which way they wished.  That would include, one would suppose, bringing a weapon out of concealment and brandishing it freely.

Live free or die.

Crazy Aunts in New Hampshire’s Attic – March 2011

And if you’re one of those liberal walk-a-mile-in-someone’s-shoes types who say same-sex marriage doesn’t hurt me, I suggest you check out My Marriage Ruins Yours and have your eyes opened.


9 comments on “Crazy Aunts in New Hampshire’s Attic Redux

  1. elroyjones
    February 15, 2012

    I love the way this post is written but the content scares me.

    I want everyone to be able to get married just like me so they can share the same securities marriage affords me and my husband, the same commitment, the same joys and challenges, the same damn RIGHTS. We know absolutely that there is no authority higher than ours when decisions are required for life and death matters. No one can legally keep us from each other.

    I have never been in a situation where I thought, “Boy, I wish I had a gun.” I’ve been on the unfortunate end of violent crimes and still it never once occurred to me that a gun would come in handy.


  2. elroyjones
    February 15, 2012

    Reblogged this on elroyjones.


  3. Michael Sadowski
    February 15, 2012

    Thanks for weighing on my blog. I’m all for legislation approving gay marriage…with the stipulation that their divorces be handled by heterosexual lawyers. God knows, they need the business.


    • Richard Daybell
      February 16, 2012

      What do you have with a heterosexual divorce lawyer up to his neck in sand?


  4. craigdunford
    February 15, 2012

    You should not be allowed to be free. Thus in NH you … get it.
    I liked this:

    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes

    Keep on my SLC bro. Oh, and hug your wife for me. Plus text me when you do it.



  5. craigdunford
    February 15, 2012

    Maybe I should fix my photo.


  6. gkinnard
    February 15, 2012

    I arrived here via a reblog by elroyjones. Great post!


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