Richard Daybell – Novels, stories and short humor
Osama Bin Laden is dead. Or is he? The body has been conveniently buried at sea. They say they have his DNA, but I haven’t seen it. They say they got him in Pakistan. Does Pakistan even exist? Last I heard Europe was the outer edge of the world. Could this be one more part of the GREAT CONSPIRACY? Show me his birth certificate.
The GREAT CONSPIRACY — liberals, atheists and socialists attempting to muslimize and evolutionize America — has been going on since at least the fifth century. It is a web reaching the four corners of the globe. The list of those involved reads like a Who’s Who of Who’s Who. To name just a few: Genghis Kahn, Copernicus, Louis XVI and every leader of France since him, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Schweitzer, Karl and Harpo Marx, Mahatma Gandhi, Vladimir Lenin, John Lennon and the Lennon Sisters, Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Barbra Streisand, Dr. Seuss, the Clintons, Misterogers and, of course, Barack Obama. I want to see all their birth certificates.
Yeah, Obama has produced his, but it’s meaningless; Hawaii isn’t really a state. The only true states are the original thirteen: New Hampshire, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, Delaware, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Texas, and Arizona. Vermont was number 14, and it’s been a slippery slope ever since. We must stick to an original and literal interpretation of the Declaration of Independence (13 states, no more, no less), the Constitution (individual arsenals are ordained and protected by God and the Second Amendment) and Lord of the Rings (Hobbits are forever).
Just because we’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get us. We must stand together in vigilance. They’re all around us, closing in. Come to think of it, I want to see your birth certificate.